As you may or may not know, I have a sidejob at the Eorzeas Greatest Fighter event as an announcer. This article is not about that. This is about how an unaware intern got roped into also being a fighter as the main event got postponed, except I’m not going to write about that either.
What I will write about is how I came to know Hartgeim in a completely different light. The light of a cage fight match, to be exact, and about just how different we all are as people. How our idea of a training match is very different.
It started out very tame with her giving me the explanation of the rules and what to expect and then promptly decide to start the actual match! Fortunately I did have all of my necessary gear with me, so that was a bonus.
What happened next, dear reader, was undoubtedly the longest 30 minutes of my life becoming a kicking bag for a woman I will now speak of as Lady Facekick. As she lunged forward going straight for the face and hitting me right in the jaw I knew that this would be a valuable lesson, though looking back on it I have not found one yet. The follow up hit was me being promptly roundhouse kicked to the face, again, and straight into the cage fence and wobbling against it. True to her name, Lady Facekick then finished it off with a punt kick and down I went!
After three hits in a row, a winner is declared for that round and that was that for my first round. I was surprised at the camaraderie as Lady Facekick offered a hand to get me back on my feet and explained I should catch my breath in my corner. After a few moments she mimicked the sound of the second bell and in we went again! This time I decided to cautiously approach her, see if I could find any openings.. there weren’t. Instead I was met with a fierce assault, speared by a redheaded Roegadyn harpoon as I was shoved back in my corner again.
BUT! Then the turnaround! As she lined up yet another kick I managed to block Lady Facekick by planting my axe against the floor, putting my entire weight against it and hold off the assault, I even managed to slam myself against her, causing her to roll backwards. At was at this point overconfidence took over from concentration because when I blinked all I saw was a giant knee right in front of me. Seconds later? The ceiling as my head reeled backwards as her knee slammed into my forehead and I flopped down onto the floor.
And that concluded the match. Fortunately I wasn’t too injured, I guess those headbutting competitions back home weren’t a waste of time after all. After the fight Hartgeim was supportive of my efforts and that win or lose, pain will be a thing. I managed to get at least one hit in, which was more than I expected and I am very grateful she went easy on me.
In closing, is the name Lady Facekick deserving? This intern believes so.