As I flit about my day to day life, I always make the time to stop in to The Daily Moogle offices and see if you Dearhearts have some fluttery heart questions that you need answered. And this morning when I flapped in, I saw a whole pile of them! Neat! You all are THE BEST! I’ll sprinkle a little bit of my Butterfly Dust in the form of advice now, just know that you all are the bright warm sunshine of Thanalan and the fragrant breezy coast of Vylbrand to me. Let me relieve you of your burning questions like the cleansing rains of the Shroud and solidify your wary minds as the ice of Coerthas. Alright, I’m a bit tapped out on the poetry, let’s get to those queries!
How do you know if you and the other person in a relationship want the same thing? And how do you go about asking?
I believe I don’t have to answer the first question, since your second one touches on that. Though just to be said, how do you know? By asking. Nobody can read the mind of their Dearheart, not completely, not even if you’ve been together for turns upon turns. Every relationship is in a constant state of growth… whether it be growth together or growth in other directions that make you part. How do you go about asking? You just.. do. It’s important. If your Dearheart is the right one, if they’re worth the effort, you’ll just ask. Set them down sometime, when it’s just the two of you, in a calm, easy sort of environment. Whether it’s for afternoon tea or maybe on a spontaneous fishing trip, find the time. There’s not really a ‘right’ time to ask, but there’s hardly ever a ‘wrong’ one either. Unless you just had a lover’s spat or their favorite pet just returned to the lifestream, you’ve just gotta take the chance and ask. Just don’t ask too often, be secure in your relationship once they’ve answered! Questioning it too much just might be the thing that makes you grow in other directions.
I’m too awkward to start a conversation, do you have any advices on how to do it, or do you have any conversation starters?
Before I sprinkle some Advice Dust over this, let me give you a little teaser. There’s going to be a.. we’ll call it a ‘Meet and Greet’ for the time being, coming up soon, sponsored by The Daily Moogle! And it seems to be something that you specifically, Dear Reader, just may be interested in. Though you asked me directly, so I will give you direct advice! The absolute easiest way to start a conversation is by complimenting the one you’re talking to or wanting to talk to. Why are you wanting to talk to them? Maybe you saw their smile from across the room and it lit up the area like a beacon. Maybe they’re wearing a snazzy coat and you absolutely must know the name of their tailor. Maybe you see that they’re sticking to the walls just the same as you and you felt a draw to them for that reason. Whatever it is, that’s the best way to start. You have -noticed- them, and something about them, it has caught your eye, they are intriguing, and this sort of complimenting tends to put others at ease or at the very least.. catch -their- attention. Which is what you want!
Hello Wes. I am shy and would really like to go out there and meet someone special. How do I do this?
Looks as if we’ll have lots of candidates for the ‘Meet and Greet’ that’s in the works! My Dearest Reader, there are truthfully so many others out there just like you. I have put my feelers out there with the Matchy Dates, and seen it time and again.. the shy ones tend to gravitate toward the other shy ones. So how do you find each other if you’re both shy? There’s several answers to this. The most difficult but also the most effective is to… go out there. If you stay at home and pine away with what if’s, that’s not going to bring your Dearheart to your side! There’s a plethora of places to visit and events to attend, find one that you would be comfortable enough at and make that first step. Another answer would be, of course, sign up to the Matchy Dates service! That’s what it is there for, to bring Dearhearts together. And even a third way to do this, ask a friend to be your wingman. Every Butterfly could use their Best Butterfly Friend to flit alongside them and help encourage them if they see someone interesting or even interested. And often our Best Butterfly Wingman can see potentials when we’ve got dust in our eyes blinding us!
Hi, Wes, it’s me again, how are you doing? Things have been going rather well on my end, and we are getting closer than before. I have an issue, though…I feel like she and I want drastically different things, and I am afraid of upsetting her. How do you find common ground with someone you love? (k)
Hi (k)! Good to see I’ve got some regular readers who come to me for advice! That means I’m doing something right, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it?? I believe it does! But enough of my self dusting, let’s get to the heart of the problem here. You say things are going well and you’re getting closer, yet there’s still these lingering doubts in your mind. I can only say what I’ve said before, if they are your True Dearheart, then you must talk with them. Are there clues she’s given that lead you to think this way? Keep in mind, Dearheart, often our own mind makes up problems where there really is none. Our own lack of confidence or our own past issues will forever colour our minds, forever send up those wary feelings in the very pit of our stomach, by seeing some similar behavior or hearing some specific words. Has she outright said ‘this is what I want’? If not, it’s not really doing you any favors to think that way without knowing the truth. So to answer : How do you find common ground with someone you love? You talk to them. About it all, or at least about everything you can. Share the hesitations, share the doubts, ask the questions. It is really the only way to get completely and totally in the same flowerbed and drinking from the same bud. Be honest with them, and expect they’ll be honest with you.
WHEW! I almost used up my entire Butterfly Dust supply there, now it’s time for me to go replenish it! Until next time, Dearhearts and Future Dearhearts!