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Horrorscopes 3/7

July 3, 2021

Alys Rose’s Horrorscopes and Celestial Advice

Hello, readers! This does feel so very strange to be writing, and knowing that my words will be read by so many! Perhaps even serial killers, or babies! Anyroad, here is what I gather from Mother’s special way of reading the stars! Open up your mind, let their celestial light blaze through you, and you will surely hear them, that’s what she said! I am unsure why they are called Horrorscopes but I suppose life isn’t always sunny! Read below —

Halone — First Astral Moon

Those born under Halone, I should think, are rather temperful and terribly hot headed! Is there a conflict in your life? You should be careful not to let your emotions guide your actions, and this week, to measure twice and cut once! I think that the storm is going to pass, and there will be no use having a heart attack before it does!

Menphina – First Umbral Moon

I think that those born under Menphina are going to have a terrifical week! Your stars look bright and happy! Maybe it is my own love-y dove-y mood but I think you must enjoy the now, and love those you love extra hard this week. Who knows what the future brings? Appreciation is the key to fully enjoying what you have before its gone.

Thaliak — Second Astral Moon

I do think you are in for a boring, uneventful week if you are born under Thaliak. Do hang in there, for life has its moments of dullness! One can make their own excitement, more often than not!

Nymeia — Second Umbral Moon

I am quite distressed, for a reddish tint does not bode well for new relationships, and I am rather fearful that new strangers could turn out to be less than friends. I am not suggesting locking yourself away, unless you are extra cautious and worrisome — but do be wary of coeurls in karakul’s clothing!

Llymlaen — Third Astral Moon

If I can say one thing to you worryful children of Llymlaen, it would be — take the leap! I think that life is far too short, which isn’t to say you are going to die a horrible death this week, to worry and bother about fear! Quite too many people wait on the edge of the most glorious sparkly pool, and only try to leap when their bones are too old and brittle to swim!

Oschon — Third Umbral Moon

I think that you will have quite the adventure to begin this week, though it will, I should think, come in the form of the most minor and well disguisified spree! The world is full of possibilities but it can be rather difficult to see them! You are in for rather a fun time!

Byregot — Fourth Astral Moon

While we all dream beneath the Fourth Astral Moon, spare a thought for those born this month — for I think that many of them are struggling with the idea of ageing as the month begins! We Viera don’t have such worries, for I have two hundred wonderful birthdays to enjoy! So, Byregot-babies, just remember! It is quite often better to be a Viera!

Rhalgr — Fourth Umbral Moon

I think that quite the most turbulent weeks will be for those born in the Fourth Umbral Moon — so, I will give you some advice, though I am not a Painful Aunt! Take moments to let out your inner child! Children have so few reasons to worry, and orphans merely have a taste for the theatrical, so play and prance and skip and dance, even if your house is burning all around you! You may as well die with a smile on your face!

Azeyma — Fifth Astral Moon

I feel that many born in the Fifth Astral Moon are grieving — whether it be a loved one, a pet, a broken plate or the cake they forgot about that went quite stale and funny-tasting. The stars say — do try not to ruin everyone else’s day by sulking around and being miserable! No one likes a misery-guts, and that means no one likes you.

Nald’thal — Fifth Umbral Moon

For those of you under Nald’thal who are pregnant, I see a lot of motherly doubts — and  I think you should remember, stress is far more likely to kill your baby than a glass of wine — so do most certainly unwind, and drink! Especially if you are having twins, for alcohol does tend to loosen people’s inhibitions, and they might bond before they even come out!


*Disclaimer: The Daily Moogle does not recommend drinking during pregnancy. Please consult your physician should you have additional questions.*


Nophica — Sixth Astral Moon

All of you are such a complex group, and I think that shows this week with your conflicted thoughts, and perhaps a lot of you are considering a career change, or pushing yourself rather hard! I think you should bear in mind a funny little poem that Mother told me once;

”A man to me once said, he wished he’d stayed in bed, he worked with drive ‘til 45 then stress blew off his head”

So, do please be kind to yourself and remember — ambition is a killer!

Althyk — Sixth Umbral Moon

This week is the week to focus on your identity! You might feel, more than ever, as though you are unhappy in your own skin, or with people’s expectations of you. Take time to find the problem, and then, know that Eorzea is a place where all your dreams can come true! Be yourself, children of the Sixth Umbral Moon, no matter who that person is!

Thank you so very much for reading my article! I’ll be back next Saturday with another reading from the stars! I’m accepting mail, and I promise to respond to it all!

— Alys Rose

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